Monsanto Named Company of the Year By Forbes Magazine

Monsanto was named “Company of the Year 2009″ by Forbes magazine. In “The Planet vs. Monsanto” January 18th, 2010 authors Robert Langreth and Matthew Herper write, “Monsanto’s first round of attackers said it’s seeds were evil, now the charge is that Monsanto’s seeds are too good.”

In economic terms, the company is a winner. It has created many billions of dollars of value for the world with seeds genetically engineered to ward off insects or make a crop immune to herbicides: Witness the vast numbers of farmers who prefer its seeds to competing products, and the resulting $44 billion market value of the company.

Touting Monsanto’s desire to help save humanity and the Earth by developing new GMO crops and bio-pesticides that will feed the world’s hungry, Forbes creates a warm and fuzzy image of your friendly neighborhood big M pharma.

Taking an editorial look at the Forbes article, I had to wonder whether it was written by Forbes, or by Monsanto’s PR firm.  The list of  ‘amazing’ achievements is long, some of the past and present projects Monsanto shared in the writeup:

- GMO Soybeans that create oils, the soybeans contain two new genes to make a tasteless oil that is converted inside the body into the form of omega-3 thought to be good for the heart.

- Creating seeds that provide higher yields, on less land, helping to save the planet’s natural beauty

- BT corn that grows it’s own pesticide right there in the plant!

- Sending a barge of corn to Zambia during a famine that was rudely rejected, just because it may have been tainted with BT corn. (those ungrateful Zambians…)

- Creating A new corn variety that includes eight genes for pest resistance and herbicide tolerance that could become the company’s next big product.

The list goes on, and I have to admit, if you are not well researched in GMO’s, it sounds impressive. BT crops that are pesticide resistant are the biggest cash crops for Monsanto, and I learned in the Forbes article a little bit of interesting company history folklore about how they were developed;

But it proved difficult to do until someone came up with the clever idea of trying genes from bacteria living in the wastewater near a Roundup plant. “I walked in the lab one day and saw the results on my robot, and it was ‘Holy cow,’” recalls Monsanto Vice President Stephen Padgette. Roundup-ready soybeans were introduced in 1996. Bt-endowed cotton came that same year, followed by Bt corn in 1997.

Wow, why didn’t I think of that? Obviously genes from waste-water plant bacteria SHOULD be engineered into our food, what a brilliant idea! Perhaps Monsanto has gotten a bad rap, they really have taken the forefront of green technology here, right? Compassion arose further  in my heart for the misunderstood M when I read,

Over most of the time that Monsanto has been working to make humanity better fed, it has been the object of vicious criticism. In the first round of attacks the company was portrayed as the Satan of agriculture for daring to modify the genes in corn and soybeans.

Poor Monsanto, I now realize that I have been so ungrateful and unappreciative of the fact that Monsanto has been working so hard to make humanity better fed. I think it’s about time I say, “Thank you” and let them know how very very much I appreciate all of their hard work. Let’s see what I can come up with here, in a satirical rough draft:

(excuse my typos and scratch outs, remember it’s a rough draft!)

Dear Monopoly Monsanto,

Congratulations up yours on winning “Company of the Year!”  That is an amazing bribery accomplishment. I have to express how much itching joy it brings me knowing you are avoiding taking responsibility for creating getting the  mutating diseases originating from GMO foods and bio-pesticides well-earned recognition you let loose upon humanity deserve. I feel after reading the article that your main objective is to control every seed upon the Earth help save the world and make humanity dependent upon your patented seeds better fed, that I should really say, greedy @$&%! “Thank You”. So I wrote a prose for you, Monsanto, from my heart:

Thank you greedy @$$&! Monsanto,

For helping to alter the genetic fabric of save humanity and our Earth.

For making Bovine growth hormones a better milk to give 8 year old girls breasts feed my children,

For Creating Frankenstein corn that grows it’s very own pesticide and makes many who eat it very ill rejects bugs,

Thank you for bio-pesticides that mutated and helped create Morgellons Disease make it possible to attract bugs and grow fibers from our skin avoid chemicals.

Oh, and those GMO nematodes are infesting thousands of people SO CUTE!

Thank you for the GMO cotton, too. I’m sure all farmers who committed suicide in India are sooo dead grateful to have such a failure of miraculous crop that killed all their livestock grows so well.

Thank you for the soybeans that mutate and lateral gene-swap taste so yummy in my lesion filled intestines soymilk.

Thank you for being so utterly uncaring concerned with my health, and the health of my children, I rue the day cannot wait for the next Frankenstein miraculous food product you create!

Thank you for threatening and suing helping Americas farmers have crops polluted with GMOs by pollination better yields and healthier crops.

Thank you for engineering the foods we cannot eat BEST SEEDS EVER.

Thank you Monsanto, I owe the disease that nearly killed me my health, and the future possible mutations and slow death of humanity to your company.

Thank you, Thank You, Thank you. You are truly, incorrigible my heros.

Just knowing you are out there, makes me cry all warm and full of Morgellon’s fibers fuzzy.

With great sadness love and adoration,
Your Morgellon’s Victim Biggest Fan.

(The above satirical article is an editorial commentary that totally in no way reflects the opinions of Nano Trans Publishing LLC.)

References:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/01/30/has-forbes-gone-psychotic-or-taken-the-blue-pill.aspx

Original Forbes Article:  http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2010/0118/americas-best-company-10-gmos-dupont-planet-versus-monsanto.html